Lubricant 101: Why we should all be using lubricant for sexual play 

Lube is your friend! The many benefits of using lubricant alone and with a partner. 

You’ve all likely heard lubricant shaming before. It might have been the infamous Maxim interview with UFC champion Ronda Rousey where she stated, in part: “You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy...”. Or a sexual partner who insisted on having sex without lubricant as you shouldn’t need it, you’re only in your twenties after all!  

Lubricant use is common, but it still seems to be misunderstood by plenty of people. 

What is lube shaming and why is it still common?  

Lube shaming is the belief that if a woman or person with a vulva is turned on, she shouldn’t need lube as her body will be naturally wet enough to penetrate. The shame part comes in when someone holds this belief and feels like their partner isn’t turned on by them if they don’t become naturally lubricated, or when a woman feels embarrassed when her body doesn’t become wet enough.  

Lube shaming is common because a lack of sex education means that many people don’t understand that our bodies are way more nuanced than simply, aroused = wet.  

The truth of the matter is that there are so many things that can impact the body’s natural lubrication, and it is not always a reflection of how turned on we are or how much we are enjoying what is happening to our bodies. This is called arousal non-concordance, where we feel aroused but the physiological changes in our body (aka becoming wet) don’t reflect that (or vice-versa, where your body shows the physiological signs of arousal when you don’t feel aroused). And it’s common. Our menstrual cycle, stress levels, hormone levels, menopause, and blood flow all impact how naturally lubricated we become. 

Lube shaming can put undue strain and stress on someone who feels like they aren’t meeting expectations for a part of the body they have no control over. Using lubricant is the simple solution to so many problems. Lube is not your enemy; lube is your friend.  

 The good news is that lots of us already know just how good lube can be. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 65.5% of women reported using lubricant. Another 2014 study by the same researchers found similar results with heterosexual men, with 70% reporting using lubricant. That went up to 90% among gay and bisexual men. 

Here are 5 amazing benefits of using lubricant

1. Lubricant makes everything feel better 

Lubricant is designed to make everything feel better. It reduces friction without reducing sensation and makes sexual play feel better for longer. And it feels good for everyone involved. A 2011 study of over 2400 women found that using lubricant was associated with higher ratings of sexual pleasure for both solo play and penetrative sex compared to the same type of stimulation with no lube.  

For many people, having sex without lube can be painful. Inadequate lubrication can result in microtears in the delicate skin of the vagina causing pain and making people more susceptible to bacterial infections.

2. Lubricant can increase your chances of orgasm 

Lubricant isn’t just about comfort, it’s also about pleasure! Studies have found that lubricant use can increase your chances of having an orgasm, as participants reported feeling more easily orgasmic when sex was more wet.  

And for those who experience pain without lubricant, not using it means an orgasm is likely off the cards as vaginal pain is a surefire way to stop arousal in its tracks. Pain and orgasm don’t often go hand and hand. But pleasure and orgasm do. 

3. Lubricant can help to prevent micro tears and STI transmission 

Dry skin and friction are a recipe for micro tears in the delicate skin of the vagina or anus. And micro tears make you more susceptible to the transmission of STIs. Condoms are still your best defense, but it’s ideal to do everything you can to have safer sex. 

4.  Lubricant is essential for condom safety 

Speaking of safer sex, lubricant is essential with condoms to stop them from breaking. With perfect use, condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy, but typical use is closer to 87% effective. Imperfect use can mean putting condoms on incorrectly, putting them on too late, or taking them off too early. But it can also include condom breakage. Penetrative sex has a lot of friction and, while condoms are strong, even they will struggle without adequate lubrication.  

Using lubricant with condoms has been shown to reduce condom failure rates. Just make sure you stick to water-based or silicone lubricant and avoid oil-based lube with latex condoms (more on this later).

5.  Lubricant means a marathon session is totally doable 

Using lube means that you can thrust, grind, rub and penetrate to your heart's content. No breaks required! Well, maybe for a glass of water and a slice of orange, but then it’s back to it. You can go for hours with a toy or partner if you want to, just add lube. 

A really easy way to look at it is to see lubricant as a tool for amazing sex for both of you. Imagine going down a water slide without water, well that's how it feels to not use lube. Why feel discomfort when it could be so much more pleasurable for you both?  

And it’s the same with stress. We know that stress is a big cause of preventing the body from becoming aroused and producing natural lubrication, so not using lubrication or making someone feel shame about needing to use lube is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s only going to cause more stress. 

There will be a lubricant you love!  

If you are someone who insists that they don’t like how lube feels, you just haven’t found the right one! There are different types of lubricants with some being better for particular sexual activities than others. If you find your lube too thin or too thick or it dries out too quickly, it’s just the wrong one for you.

Here’s a cheat sheet for finding the perfect lubricant. 

Water-based Lubricant 

Water-based lubricant is a great all-rounder. It’s safe to use for most bodies, can be used for any orifice or body part and it’s safe to use with any sex toy or condom material. So, you can use it with your dildos, your vibes, your butt plugs and whatever else you may be inserting into or rubbing against your body.  

However, water-based lube does dry out quickly, so it might not be ideal for long sessions or anal play. And, although the name suggests it’s just water, water-based lube has a lot of ingredients. Parabens, humectants and glycerin are all common ingredients in water-based lube to give it its shelf-life and keep it feeling smooth and silky. However, these can be irritants for many people. So, if you are prone to thrush or UTIs, or you have sensitive or dry skin, I would avoid this type of lube. 

Silicone Lubricant 

Silicone lubricant is amazing. It’s smooth, silky, slippery, and very long-lasting. It’s great for partnered play and is safe to use vaginally, anally, and with condoms. It’s also awesome with sex toys, but you do need to be careful as some toy materials don’t play nicely with silicone lube.  

Avoid using silicone lubricant with toys made from TPE, TPR or low-grade silicone toys. 

Low-grade silicone toys will have a chemical reaction with silicone lubricant where the two silicones will try to bond together. In terms of sex toys, this reaction can cause the surface of your toy to turn tacky and sticky, meaning it’s no longer body-safe.  If you aren’t sure about the quality of your toy, stick to using water-based lubricant. 

Silicone lubricant only contains silicone, so unless you are allergic to silicone, it shouldn’t cause any irritation making it great for those with sensitivities.   

Hybrid Lubricant 

Hybrid lubricants can be a wonderful option for those with vaginal dryness as they tend to feel relatively similar to the body’s natural lubrication. Hybrid lubes use a mix of water and silicone for a formula with the benefits of both types. They are long-lasting, silky, and tend to be creamier than water-based or silicone lubricants.  

There are also hybrid lubricants that mix water and oil-based lubricants. Oil-based lubes have become increasingly popular in the last few years as they are very luxurious and long-lasting. It’s great for solo or partnered play and is particularly popular for anal play. A hybrid oil formula will be very thick and long-lasting, so it is ideal for longer play sessions. 

However, oil-based lubricant, including hybrid formulas, breaks down latex meaning it’s not safe to use with latex condoms. And being oil, it’s likely to stain your sheets.  

There’s no reason to suffer through dry sex. Lubricant is readily available, suitable for everyone, and so easy to use. Using lube allows you to get into it quickly and without stress. Just whip it out, pour it on and let the gliding begin.  

Check out the full range of lubricant at Adulttoymegastore.